ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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