sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
