how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
