They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
