Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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