Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
