Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Someone shattered a urinal.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
