look no pants
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
