Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize