am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i will never coherently bang her
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
