This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
