come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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