with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
