No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
