Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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