marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
