she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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