sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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