Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My breasts were aching with rage.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize