Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
