So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
even my farts smell like vagina
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
