i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize