Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
What a dumb baby whore.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
