Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so that wasnt chicken after all
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
