I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
