theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
