do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
