Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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