he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
