I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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