that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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