Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize