I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
