And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
