Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
