the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My dick has a subreddit
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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