there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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