That's when you crack a 10am beer
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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