Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Barsexuality is the new black.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
