she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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