Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
