I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
