I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize