Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
