After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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