cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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