Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
not ubering you a puppy
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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