she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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