yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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