Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
this hospital has no fireball
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
