love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize