hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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