I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Also, beer. Big fan.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
