We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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