I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
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