The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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