so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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