You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
