I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
