Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
