Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
