She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
