Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize