And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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