my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
