I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I will be naked everywhere
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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