this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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