would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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