I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
